Untold stories

This is a recent short story of a women struggling to survive her family. Me and my brother were looking for a house on rent near around DLF phase 2 Gurgaon. We called on a number which we got from OLX about property services.
She directed us on phone towards the vacant home. Finally we met her;
A lady around 35 year old well dressed, speaking decent english while greeting us on the door as a real estate client. She told us the rented property scenario and escalated rates in that area also suggested to dos and donts while choosing a good home. Now she started explaining about that house and about landlord, neighbors, society and kind of ins and out of the community staying there.

The turning, After house visit we had a little discussion with her about her background and How she opt for real estate agent and why? Being a real estate agent for female is still little difficult in Haryana though in developed countries this a kind of well established profession and millions of women are doing well in real estate but in Haryana wait!!!

She was a fashion designer, Her husband was a certified CA and their kids were studying in a good school, For last two years She has been doing this because her husband is in depression after loosing his job for not taking bribe, and she have to left her profession(Fashion) to support him and kids. She is doing tuition and this commission job to survive at this tough time.
Lastly we got to know that she hails from my hometown.

I was shocked that still there are people who quit there jobs or business because they can not compromise with injustice and unethical act, and they stand on their values and thoughts. Country needs these kind of people in Billions but lastly they are struggling with their life in every single corner of this free country. What
will happen with their future and their children. who will raise them and who will full fill their basic needs. who is responsible for all this? That's why this species is disappearing day by day from our society coz they hardly survive.

No body knows it

A name consist four letter become a cause of incurable sickness. Whenever i try to forget it, I really do not know from where to start cleaning out these shadow spaces of life. Here, I try thousand times a day to unchained from indecisive power and shadows which revolves around me. I do not know where this F..ng life will lead to.
Every time in life I expect a little from my efforts and I got little. These holes ruining my life on the same day at the same hour where I stand to expect something not from this commodious world. These were very small earlier, about to bit. Ignorance is their food and drink, they grow faster then lily. Brain is almost convinced by destructive way. What is next I really do not know, but I promise I can not take a step back now.
Who knows about next second.
Getting older
parts of body find detached space
I dont feel like my organs
wrinkled skin said the age is not yours

Beyond end

The world is spinning around and I am standing on the side of fence by holding it tightly.

No matter what I did in past few months when I had a dream in my mind to achieve happiness. Which seems to be lost from my life when I step-in the city called Gurgaon. Life is entirely different and beyond one's imaginations.
We did not understand the bandwidth of it. Human nature being funny throughout the lap, during young season it always try to convince elders on the flip-side these young creatures turn to old season they possess the same behavior which they got from their elders earlier. This is nothing just a confusion, fear and uncertainty

yesterday i was lying on my bed and just thinking about my past life which was not seems interesting. I recall few good memories and few indecent events happened with me. I suddenly want to weight my past with my achieving, and it tilted negatively. I failed to manage my half life. During this up and down my mind strikes on that part which is still left to be live.

Moving towards 'Beyond end'.
It is like the same as other phases of life one which you have lived, one which is left and one which is behind it. Priest always found to be good visionary and closest to God, so people think that they have better reply to this but to my mind this part of life would be balancing point for both present and beyond end. This sounds shit but world is always works on balancing principle. Everywhere you will found a balance between objects around you. We are the most valuable product for God.....can not complete it in one go.





    

feeling cold

re born of my mind
i don't know i am sick or not

i feel like need it again

cloudy nights kicking inside

ash of my tobacco showing sign of death

world is running after something else

crystals in my nose just sense smell of pure

splitting beings on surface

gathering my energy to find it

lots of noise here

my hand is up for this

my embalmer seems fade now

bitches on the road asking for assistance

please give me freedom from cactus closet

taste of it Is enough now

falling water in glass sounds like filling pillars

my blood is getting blue

deficient of something natural and look like ritual

people after me and hate me coz i close to you

indecent proposals falling on my way

breathing for you no matter the way i choose

where is fucking peace

smell like burning leather

playing games with my liquid mind
trying to open wired soul
i saw the open sky calling me for a deep drive
i am not feeling free in this massive world
want to run with blind dogs in streets
even feel like flying with the drop of rain
catching the dust of dessert and holding in hand
to make a fort and obey rituals
its paining a lot
burning cells and tissues bringing out smoke like leather
catholic soul breathing slowly
looking for col to go beyond peaks
rolling tears freezing here
oh! God where are you to hold
this carked soul of yours
milky red shades in eyes
to see master of this race
strings of hearts at heights
crawling to touch your portion
a stone is not enough
come closer come closer
don't lock me like at least not like this
give me spark to fight
no, who said to gave me birth here
take away take away now

loosing you!!!

I am still alive
I am still alive
what's the hell i am alive
ray o light is killing me, touching my heart and get away
who want me to wake up from deep personification
eyes goes down expecting someone to hold the soul
now why is world spinning around
yoou look like my friend
give me peace without asking the way where i want to go
why you look like the breed which i have seen in my black book
go away go away go away
i wana come down ...i wana come down
sparrows peeping into the face
feathers flying in the air
why is this day comes over happiness
am happy with my dark shit jerky friend
mid night spies
why after me why after me
smells like teen never leave me alone
thick fat thick fat over mind
food of my mind stolen by hoar
penniless beggar in open street
feed me in to deep ...take take the weight away from body
wait wait ..allow me to take a deep breath
lost lost lost lost ..the gifted outlook

massive internal complications

drunk a bunch of liquor bottle, hands are shivering-piece of newspaper flying around me creating noise and striking again again to break my peace, voice of crying child increasing the pulse of nerve. world is going against me slowly. feeling like alone in ghost island...nowhere to go. something happen to me very strange. inside feeling like go away farther and father....where where where...

i can not feel my soul...its dead now. there is no drop of liquor in the bottles. night is getting darker every moment. only few spices alive to survive and struggling with life and trying to knock others way. I want to make my own way where i need peace happiness and freedom. I am looking for a way which never ends where there is no addiction of breath. i want to betray this outlook given by God unnecessarily. I need my soul back, i cant bear the weight of this shell it is no use for me. I hate the freedom of wind, oh God give me the rights to flying like kites and birds. Take me back and fuse me in to rain, sand, wind and fire. this world is not meant for me i am feeling alone and need your support to trans me and forget about me.

why this is happening with me you put me in between where some has impose belonging boundaries. Its been very hard to live in this situation. slowly slowly decaying inside shell but it will take years to reach on my destination. please take care of them.